12 Comments
User's avatar
Brandi Copeland's avatar

Great article. We shouldn’t have to qualify our own thoughts, ideas, or questions. As long as we’re being kind, we’re allowed to share and question. Wonderful reminder that we don’t need to apologize for being.

Calyn's avatar

Thanks Brandi!… I love the way you put this. We can spend so much energy on qualifying things that were already enough.

Michael Kole's avatar

Love the setup with the dog story … You make a lot of great points about owning what you say, and not feeling bad about it. I recall a mentor once said to me; “Don’t say in blah, blah, what you can say in blah” - If it’s not enough, the receiver will ask more questions.

Calyn's avatar

Thank you so much Michael… I really appreciate it! 🩶

Dido Torchi's avatar

As a former people pleaser, this hits hard. I think it's because we don't trust our inner voice enough to own the ideas that we have. Once I did that, that's when I finally had the capacity to handle the pushback/disagreements/uncomfortable silences that come with speaking your mind.

Calyn's avatar

Thank you so much Dido! .. and thank you for sharing! 🩶

Barry's avatar

Fantastic.

Calyn's avatar

Thank you! 🩶

Bob Mossman's avatar

One important thing is that you feel you're making progress. What method led to your success?

Calyn's avatar

Thanks Bob!… I think it's the same way we change almost anything. Repetition and intentionality…. If you want to become less conflict avoidant, you have to have a few difficult conversations and realize they rarely end the way you fear they will… If you want rejection to have less power over you, you have to experience it enough to realize you'll be okay on the other side. I don't think there's a shortcut. We become who we repeatedly practice being.

Lehni's avatar

Great read!

Calyn's avatar

Thank you!